Cracking Up Over Accident Reports

DEAR ANN: Most of us have endured the confusion of traffic accidents and then having to briefly summarize the event on those pitifully inadequate insurance forms.

The following was published by an insurance company for internal distribution. These are summaries submitted when policyholders were asked for a brief statement describing there particular accident. Your readers may enjoy them..

DEAR READER: What a hoot! Thanks for passing them on.


"It Happened This Way"

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it."

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

"The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

"I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."

"I was on the way to doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident."

"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."

"The telephone pole vas approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end"

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle"

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished"

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"The pedestrain had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over."

"I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."


Back to John Miller's Humor Page