Excerpted from THE COMPUTER CONNECTION, "Computing America's Radiomagazine"
from a few years back.

			SERMON ON THE MONITOR

Yes friends, we're all assembled here together because PC-ing is believing.
And we're here to console you.
ASCII and ye shall receive.
We want to save the poor end users who have been dBased.
And that's why for the Catholic yuppies we have the express confessional:
Eight sins or less; it's a drive-up window; no checks please!

Hail Memory, full of space.
The motherboard is with thee.
Blessed art thou among micros
And blessed is the fruit of thy processor data
Holy Memory, motherboard of ROM.
Pray for us beginners now
And at the hour we sign off.

Enter.

Yes, friends.
We're getting back to BASIC.
Are you ready to have your files converted?
It's as easy as falling off a logarithm,
Why, we've got people converting to hexadecimal every day!
This is not just PI-r^2 in the sky either--PI are not squared, PI are round!
We have telemarketers talking in tongues all over the country.
Our DOSciples say, "E Pluribus Unix -- The AND is near!"
Have you ever sat and calculate the loss to mankind from syntax errors?
This is electron mass, so now let us take communication and shared data
  that we may all achieve Nerd-vanna.

Yes, friends, now we will turn to hymn number 1101100, Amazing Space:

Amazing Space
How sweet it is
To have a disk like thee
My files were lost
But now they're found
There's room on my PC.

Yes, friends.  Remember the golden rule of St Silicon:

Do you want to data that which you are able to undo?
For it is not the data you lose you will be held responsible for,
But rather, the data you don't use.

The Mac-righteous shall inherit the earth
And in the end, everything will be right-justified.
But, let us not, as many lost users do, wander in the grey market purgatory
Therefore, we pray like this:

The Motherboard holds my software
I shall not want
She runs my line code on green phosphorous
She loads it inside silicon wafers
She restores my scroll.

She runs it down paths of randomness
In her silicon gates and yea,
Though I commute to the Valley each day
I fear no evil

For my Mazda is running.
You prepare a desk for me
In the office of my competitors.
Your robot and your staff shall comfort me.

You address my hardware with opcode.
My CRT runneth over
Surely graphics and memory will flash before me
All the days of my life.
And I will debug my code on the keyboard.

Forever and ever.

Joysticks to the world!  And let this be a token ring of your divine logic.
May you live in PC for I am the wafer, the truth table and the light pen.
And no man comes to the flowchart, but through memory.
Vax Vobiscum
And you know, if everyone lived just one little cursor,
What a bright world it would be.

Glory be to the hardware and to the screen with the solid state.
As it was in logic Boolean, in DOS and ever shall be
Words without end
Ab-end
Ab-end
In the end
As it was in the beginning.
ASCII to ASCII, and DOS to DOS

And always remember, friends, the words of St Silicon:

Information Becomes Money

I.B.M.

HAL-lelujah