High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

NEW

Different color from previous design

ALL NEW

Parts not interchangable with previous design

EXCLUSIVE

Imported product

UNMATCHED

Almost as good as the competition

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY

Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

FOOLPROOF OPERATION

No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN

The advertising agency doesn't understand it

IT'S HERE AT LAST!

Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

FIELD-TESTED

Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY

Unit on which all parts fit

DIRECT SALES ONLY

Factory had big argument with distributor

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT

We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY

It's different from our competitiors

BREAKTHROUGH

We finally figured out a way to sell it

FUTURISTIC

No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE

A different shape and color than the others

MAINTENANCE-FREE

Impossible to fix

RE-DESIGNED

Previous faults corrected, we hope...

HAND-CRAFTED

Assembly machines operated without gloves on

PERFORMANCE PROVEN

Will operate through the warranty period

MEETS ALL STANDARDS

Ours, not yours

ALL SOLID-STATE

Heavy as Hell!

BROADCAST QUALITY

Gives a picture and produces noise

HIGH RELIABILITY

We made it work long enough to ship it

SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE

When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

NEW GENERATION

Old design failed, mabey this one will work

MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS

We got a good deal at a government auction

CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY

You can return it from most airports

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE

Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES

We finally got it to fit together

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED

Does things we can't explain

LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY

One of our techs was laid off by Boeing