"The Modern Man's Guide to Understanding His Wife"

You wantYou want
We needI want
It's your decisionThe right decision should be obvious by now
Do what you wantYou'll pay for this later
We need to talkI need to complain
Sure,... go aheadI don't want you to
I'm hungry(a) Make me something to eat (b) Stop what you are doing, scrape together your last $$, and go drive across town and get me something to eat. ... I don't care if what you are doing is important.
I'm not upsetOf course I'm upset, you moron
You're,... so manlyYou need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lightsI have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenientI want a new house
The car is emptyGo fill it up
The trash is fullTake it out
The dog is barkingGo outside in your underwear and see what is wrong
I want new curtainsand carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
I need wedding shoesthe other 40 pair are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture thereNO! I mean hang it there!
I heard a noiseI noticed you were almost asleep
DO you love me?I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?I did something today you're really not going to like
In answer to "What's Wrong?"
Nothing, reallyIt's just THINK that you're such an asshole
I don't want to talk about itGo away, I'm still building up steam.

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